I’ve previously pointed out the ludicrous way that a totalitarian ideology devoted to the “liberating” of autonomous individuals from all bonds except the regime’s ends up re-inventing necessary institutions in truncated, intrusive, grotesque forms that are worse than the caricatures with which the real institutions were lampooned by the “liberators.”  Well, the circle keeps closing!

Lo, the kit for formally giving consent–a mini-wedding, perfect for short-sighted and ill-considered efforts to enjoy the bond of a lifetime briefly and pointlessly, and for lawyering away the inevitable regret and recrimination!

All you have to do is immortalize yourself with your fling-of-the-moment on camera:

If no camera is available, students are encouraged to fill out the form on the back of the contract which states, “On this date [fill in the blank], we agree to have consensual sex with one another” followed by a space for students’ printed names and signatures.

The kit also also includes breath mints and a condom.

(source: Affirmative Consent Contract — Fill Out Before Sex)

A camera, a certificate, a breath mint, and a condom–no receiving line, no fusty toasts, nothing but “down to business”–and you’re off on your honeymoon!  And who cares what happens when the honeymoon’s over, really?

Really, folks, it’s nice that someone recognizes the need for formalized consent where life-changing realities are in play.  Next time, why not a consent which is not also premised on the denial that these are realities that are life-changing?!